ugh, my back!

Ok here is the gist of what is going on here. I went in for the scary MRI. I am extremely claustrophobic and I did panic but I was able to calm down a bit and I tried so hard to think about not being in the "coffin". I got through it and the results have come in. I have herniated discs in the lower spines of my thoracic region and all of my lumbar region and S1 of the sacral region. "Gee Wally, how did that happen?" EEK! No wonder I am in so much pain! So discs T11, and T12 and L1-L5 and S1 are all messed up. I have a very large herination on the right side in L1 (I could have told the doctors that as that is where most of the pain is besides my right leg pain) My entire right leg goes numb and has a burning sensation all the time when even the slightest amount of pressure is applied to it.
My doctor has recommended I see a doctor at Concord Hospital and I found out that orthopedist has a surgery based practice! I am not thrilled about that. #1 back surgery always poses the risk of becoming paralyzed when you come out of anesthesia. #2 my husband and I do not have insurance so we are not sure where the money will come from. The bill, we were told could run anywhere from $20,000.00 -$50,000.00! Yikes!
Today I woke up with no feeling at all in my right foot and leg. All I feel is a cool sensation but nothing else. It is kinda of weird and scary too. I have lost patellar reflexes in my right leg already and I get stabbing pains in my right knee whenever I go upstairs and my knee gives out on me. I need to hang on to the railing whenever I go up the stairs now. Sheesh I need a cane I guess. :) My husband was joking the other day and said I should apply for a handicapped sign for the van. I asked someone at my docs office and I actually may qualify for on. Too funny. I am only 32! I have a friend in FL who has Lupus and she has one for her SUV. She hangs it from the mirror whenever she parks the vehicle and then takes it down when she drives. If I were to get one, that is what I will get.
I got a membership at the local health club so I could go swimming everyday I can. My doctor said I need a very low to no impact exercise if I want to exercise which, of course, she highly recommends. I am to do very little house work and no lifting at all. This is hard as I have 2 preschoolers.
We are keeping our faith in God to provide for us and get us through this. God has helped me to deal with everyday life so far. I am on pain killers everyday and I am still able to function and I am not too tired. God is good and we know His plans are always good so we will have to be patient and wait to see what He has in store for us.
thanks for being patient with my rambling, but hey, it is my blog and I will ramble if I want to. :)